Nakago Overload
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These problems were sent to us by real people through email. Their grammar and spelling were not edited because that will be additional work for me (Nakago works me hard enough ;ş). Due to the many problematic people, I divided this section into 5 problems per page for faster loading time. New problems are always displayed in this page. Ok now. Read on.
Problem: Nakago, I'm just writing to you just I want your approval, I just decided to come clean about my dark, unimaginable secret about 2 1/2 months ago. I keep having reoccurring X - rated dreams about other men. I always dismissed them as dreams for extreme sexual frustrations. What should I do? And if I'm a male gay college student, what can I do to keep my best friends from getting hurt by this?
In spirit and reality, I've chosen you, Nakago, as my angelic, spiritual guardian and brother, even if we are not related, it sort of feels that way to me.
Please reply your answer, Nakago...
Blessed be,
Kira StormFire
Advice: Hmmm... This sounds familiar. Refer to the next question's advice.
Problem: This is a (frantic) message to Nakago:
Nakago, I think you are the coolest warriors I have ever known. Well, truth be told, I also think that you are one of the hot studs any male or female would fall in love with. *blushing*. Especially the male. Now, straight to my problem; lately, I've been having some problems, I have decided to come clean about my most dark, unimaginable secrets that has been hidden away for half of my life. beginning from about 2 1/2 months ago, I've been having reoccurring X - rated dreams about other men. And I have always dismissed them as dreams for extreme sexual frustrations. Tell me Nakago, what is my problem, and can I be able to cope with this fear? I've finally told my sister that I am a male gay college student. How am I going to keep my only friends from being hurt by this problem. Lately, the more I am confessing my truth, the more I lose my mind, right now, all I can think of is you, Nakago, in one of my dreams, although I can't recall it, me and you were drawn close together and our bodies felt like they were on fire. I am not some evil ecchi hentai, if that is what your thinking, I'm just telling you the truth, and I'm not being sarcastic, just explaining myself, emotionally. So if you have any thoughts, answers, anything at all, please give me a straight answer. I have chosen you as my angelic, spiritual guardian, and brother, even though, we are not related or look alike, it feels that way to me, maybe even a lover, it would be my first experience with you. There I go again, I just hope this does not make you uncomfortable or upset. Please help me, I'm drowning in a poisoned river, without a warrior in sight. Please help me... Please reply as soon as you have the time. Sorry about the long message, Nakago, but I do need your expert advice. I am a friend from the reality, (Earth Realm), if you so wondering.
Blessed be,
Kira StormFire
Advice: I have read somewhere that recurring dreams are a person's way of dealing with their problems. If a person cannot cope with their past or reality, these dreams occur. Now, the best way for you to get over these is get laid. Find some guy out there and just do it. What's wrong with being gay anyway? Of course, your friends would be uncomfortable at first but you didn't hit on them before, right? If they are really your friends, they will accept you for who you are.
Problem: Dear Nakago,
before the problem you are so so cute!! no wonder my sister is madly in love with you now my problem
i just fell in love with this guy but my friend is always bragging about him and her should be together oohh!! i want to kill her!! i just want the guy for me only!! please send someone to rape her to get what she wants »»???
Advice: Sorry but all of my men are busy right now. Since you didn't leave a name, you won't be placed in the very long waiting list. Anyway, you want someone to rape her? Take your little friend out and show her a good time (if you know what I mean *wink* Take her out drinking until she's too drunk to notice) and then leave her in a very dark alleyway full of interesting men. I'm sure someone would eventually get to her.
Problem: dear Nakago,
your so so cool!! i love you so much your very popular in my school
well to my prob i fell in love with a man hes cute but my friend is always telling me she wants to have sex with him but i already told him how i feel he accepted it can you do somthing? or just rape her by your self? or just send someone. »»Tamiyu
Advice: From what you say, I can tell that this "friend" of yours is a slut. I can't send out anyone to rape her because of fear that they might get STD. If you want someone who can really give that nymphomaniac friend of yours what she wants, refer to the advice given above.
Problem: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I SEE THAT YOUR LETTER COLUMN HAS DRAWN A BLANK!!! NO ONE SEEMS TO WANT TO WRITE TO THE RUSSIAN ANYMORE!!! DID I MENTION I HATED YOU IN FUSHIGI YUUGI!!! YOU'RE LIKE...TOO FRIGGIN BISHOUNEN! THAT'S POSSIBLE!
YOU'RE NOT AS BEAUTIFUL AS WHAT I'M SITTING ON RIGHT NOW OR GACKT!!! I FOUND SOMEONE ELSE WHO IS A HELL OF A LOT BETTER THAN THAT ACNE RIDDEN TRAMP TIFA!!! AND I KILLED YOU!!! I JUMPED OUT OF THE DAMN ENVELOPE AND STRUCK YOU WITH FRIGGIN LIGHTNING!!! i'm done »»Gackt
Advice: Well, thank you for filling up my advice column. It is good that you found another sucker to like. She probably doesn't know what a loser you are. Anyway, your lightning didn't seem to work because I'm still here. Have a nice life.
Problem: well well well, how the mighty do fall.
Greetings Nakago, its me.
Cloud Strife, no longer the hero from Final Fantasy 7 that leaped out of an envelope and killed you, but a cross dressing legend who emerged from a puddle of black tears that fell from the eyes of a "Death Angel" (No not the mushroom)I just wanted to say that i have found happiness with my "Princess Of Darkness" Jocie, and remind you that people have given up on your gay ass forum!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! »»Blue Fairy Mana
Advice: Well, well, well. I see your grammar and spelling have improved slightly. I commend your effort. Your little words now resemble comprehensible sentences unlike your first letter. Anyway, I see you're still a loser who doesn't have anything better to do than bother great men such as I am. Why don't you go along and polish your grammar and spelling more so you wouldn't make a complete fool of yourself next time you write to me?
WebMaster's Notes: Got problems? Don't hesitate to Ask Nakago! by filling out the Email form and choosing Ask Nakago! as its subject.
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